


Laying Waste To The Cycles Of The Moon

by Cloroxqueen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Enemy Lovers, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 07:17:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19763245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloroxqueen/pseuds/Cloroxqueen
Summary: Cycles change and shift with the moon as a new day starts, but we always seem to find ourselves here, stuck in time.A tasty force bond one shot inspired by the song Healthy Moon by DIIV





	Laying Waste To The Cycles Of The Moon

**Author's Note:**

> How could I describe this fading dream, you turned and looked away.  
> I’ve lived ten lives to remind me what I’ve been guilty of.

_How could I describe_

_This fading dream?_

_You turned and looked a way_

_It goes around getting louder now_

_Believe it_

_Freezes love that way_

05:31 am 

Rey felt the lull that always pulled her into their merged thoughts, she didn't have to wake from her sleep cycle to know the ebb and flow that came with their bond opening. For most months after the battle on Crait she would fight the connection tooth and nail, trying desperately to regain her independence from him. But as time past, her memories becoming less raw and fragile, she learned that fighting it was futile, and the connection would open on its own will, like waves crashing upon the shore.

Unfortunately with time the bond worked on a life of it's own, becoming stronger in its dependence, it would hum with comfort with the inevitability of their connection, and she no longer had the willpower to fight the waves from shoring her up quicker than she could fight it.

She could see him, her eyes opening within her mind as her physical self slept fitfully. His back was turned to her, rivulets of near scalding water that she could feel through the bond on her own skin, echoed his own experienced sensation, the only indication he gave that he felt her presence could be seen with the tension in his shoulders rolling slightly.

Rey did what she always did in these dream like states, moments where she felt she could give herself a reprieve from loathing him for his abandonment, his choices, e _verything he had chosen to be regardless of her feelings for him, for the indefinite bond that they shared._

Slowly and silently she padded with bare feet until she reached the steamed glass of the small fresher, even with the silence of her movements he could feel the change in space between them, causing him to abruptly turn towards her without a hint of embarrassment in his expression as he lay completely wet and exposed before her.

The concept of dignity in their private spaces had faded with the days and nights that had passed, cycles continued to move and their minds continued to merge, over and over until their level of discomfort had faded away with the many different moons.

Kylo Ren's eyes locked with hers and he studied her with feigned indifference, but even without Rey skimming their intermingled thoughts she could see his emotions play across his face in the most settle of ways, and in his eyes she could see the raw emotions playing over and over in them.

Without thought she reached her hand up tentatively to the warm glass, her palm coming to rest on the damp surface. Rey wondered what she looked like through his eyes, sleep deprived and rumpled in her dream like state from her own bed. Even is she tried to see herself from his perspective his memories and thoughts were always too manic and jumbled to quite place the moment in time they were experiencing together from his perspective.

His eyes flashed to her small palm, back to her hooded eyes, then briefly stopped for a few seconds to gaze at her parted lips. His own eyes, flooded with different emotions dragged back to her hand. Slowly he raised his own large ungloved hand to the glass and pressed it against hers, an imprint from the steam leaving the evidence before he roughly pulled his arm away, turning away from her.

_I’ll just scream it_

_There’s a dead moon in my head_

07:13 pm

Rey felt sweat drip down the side of her face and she swung aggressively upwards with her training staff, landing a sharp blow to her invisible assailant, with her stopped contact she ducked and flipped backwards to avoid another invisible swing, landing gracefully to the left of her “opponent”. She took a deep breath with her landing and glanced up towards the purple sky, distracted by the sun cycle coming to and end on the horizon.

The crumbling Resistance moved from outer planet to outer planet struggling to rebuild their forces with little resources or assistance. In some ways she felt she had gone back to her roots after the battle of Crait, living day by day with the intermediate stability of the unknown. It reminded her of scavenging on Jakku, with each sunrise brought a new set of obstacles for the day, how to eat, where to train, locating miscellaneous resources that would assist them scattered around the outer rim.

Never knowing what each new cycle would bring.

She could feel him watching her with his intense gaze, “You shouldn't be here” she spoke aloud more to herself that him.

“I'm always here” he stated it as a fact more than a thought.

She didn't respond closing her eyes to the waning sun, knowing her silence would speak for her. _I know_

Her guilt gnawed into her empty stomach, her emotions playing through their mixed thoughts.

_Loneliness_

_Despair_

_Regret_

_Longing_

_Anger_

_Abandonment_

So many unsaid words

Rey opened her eyes and wiped the sweat that treaded on her hairline and brow, turning towards him to settle her eyes on his haunted features only to find an empty clearing before her.

_You turned and looked away_

_I’ve lived ten lives and had ten loves_

_To remind me_

_What I’ve been guilty of_

12:03 am 

The current planet they were residing on was hotter than a sun itself, no matter the time of day she could feel her skin sticking to the material of her cot, even with her tunic and trousers shed off for the comfort of her burning limbs she found herself restless and always on the brink of sleep, but unable to completely fall into it with the humidity nipping at every nerve.

Rey kicked at the thin wool blanket that was tangled around her to her side in a last desperate attempt to get comfortable, already knowing it was futile. She froze when instead of hearing a thump with its fall to the ground, she heard the rustling of another body next to her that had obstructed its path.

She felt his deep heavy breath on the loose hairs near the back of her ears, even his breathing seemed tortured like him, labored then returned to a subtle puff in quick succession. She would have believed him to be asleep if she couldn't feel his mind stir against her own. She curled into herself to try and hide her own emotions and memories.

_You're so lonely... So afraid to leave... At night, desperate to sleep_

Her eyes clenched tighter together to try and fight back tears of sorrow, _not now_

As if sensing where her mind was shifting, to her more haunted memories causing her emotions to stir with distress he slowly unraveled himself and wrapped his large arm around her midsection tightly to make it past her limbs that were curled into the fetal position, trying to protect her mind with the physical action of curling into herself.

“I hate it when you do this” she sobbed quietly in frustration

“I know” he whispered, his breath tickling the hair on her neck

“It's never going to change, all of this changes nothing” Rey shook as his arm tightened uncomfortably around her waist.

This time Kylo said nothing in return, his lips mere inches away from her sweat drenched skin. Rey opened her mouth to add to her last thought, but her words only came out in a gasp as he closed the distance between his mouth and her neck in one rough motion. She chocked out a quiet sob as his tongue darted out to taste the sweat from skin from what must have been moons and moons away in the galaxy.

His hands moved firmly across her damp skin, down the curve of her waist and hips as she unfurled herself unconsciously against the pads of his calloused fingertips, his movements becoming more frantic and rough as she felt his fear in the bond of the moment dissipating before his very eyes if he stopped touching her. The sound of peeling tight cloth from wet skin filled the space between them, sucking all of the distant noise from their surroundings.

For the first time in many cycles Rey felt the unbearable and incessant heat dissipate like the humidity in the muggy air, replaced by the discomfort of their bodies joining and pushing together in a timed rhythm that had been created before either of them had set eyes on one another so long ago.

Rey let out shaky breath she had been holding that came out as a whimper, her hands sliding across his now damp skin feeling the ridges and scars that littered his back, his breath heavy in the dip of her shoulder. She could feel ever nerve begging her body to let go, and she finally did as he gasped into her ear.

“This, it changes everything”

_It claws the ground both lost and found_

_And fleeting_

_To crash into again_

04:23 am 

Touching running stream water was a bliss that Rey had never experienced in her lifetime until that moment, the feeling of the cold substance running through her fingers brought a chill to her spine and warmth to her very core. The planet they had moved to with the next cycle was teeming with wildlife and natural resources.

She knew they wouldn't stay long because of this, so she did her best to relish every second of it. The soreness in her limbs from yesterdays training settled into her bones instead of her muscles, a part of her hoping the strenuous activity would beat away the aching pit of need and regret that had settled into her stomach over the past few weeks

Even with the protest of her sore limbs she could feel another type of ache, the whispers of his touch and lips in her bones, eating her from the inside out. After all of this time, she thought about what her life would be like to be free of the pain of him, free of their bond.

It made her shudder internally to think of the missing presence of his mind brushing hers, constant and fretful, and she wondered silently to herself if he felt the same displacement from the thought of their bond severing.

What would come of that end, would they find peace in their solitude away from the prying eyes of the opposing side, their thoughts safe from one another, protecting everything they had fought for up until now.

He didn't need to speak it from behind her as she felt the shimmer of to force pull them together once again, his mind pushing the thought into her mind as if it was her own as well.

“ _We're not done yet”_


End file.
